Ellis Tyd lives by the family motto “Life Sucks Then You Die” and when not writing here is gainfully employed performing tasks at which he is very proficient and which he loathes.
The unusual family name and unfortunate family motto were both bestowed on his great-grandfather upon his arrival in these United States. Seamus O’Sullivan, Mr. Tyd’s ancestor was discussing his misfortunes with a fellow immigrant whose interest in the tale was somewhat lacking.
At the precise moment Mr. O’Sullivan was asked for his name, his fellow traveller’s interest failed altogether. As a final response to Mr. O’Sullivan’s tale of woe the traveller offered the following, “LSTYD”. The steadfast immigration officer took this to be the response to “What is your name?” and diligently wrote “Ellis Tyd” in the space marked name on the form.
When Mr. O’Sullivan questioned the entry, the officer again misinterpreted the request and replied “Life sucks, then you die”, which at least, from Mr. O’Sullivan’s point of view cleared up the meaning of “LSTYD”.
Having not had any major successes in life as Seamus O’Sullivan, the newly created Ellis Tyd sallied forth to his new homeland assuming that he could fare no worse as Ellis Tyd.
He spent his life in search of fame and fortune, both of which managed to successfully elude him. The only good thing that came from his renaming was it allowed him to circumnavigate the ever popular “NO IRISH” signs which were common at the time.
While he never successfully convinced anyone that he was from Sweden, which he picked after discovering that Tyd was not exactly a common name anywhere, he was able to explain his accent as being the result of having been kidnapped by an Irishman as a child and raised as an indentured servant. Most people were satisfied with this because, well, you know what those people are like.
Mr. Tyd has entertained, from time to time, the idea of changing the family name back to O’Sullivan, but given the current state of affairs in Ireland and the likelihood of another influx of immigrants, he has decided to bludgeon on as Ellis Tyd. Additionally there would be the expense of having his wardrobe remonogrammed.
Unlike his great ancestor the current Ellis Tyd is constantly flooded with offers of fortune, if not fame. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these have proven false.
Resigning himself to the position of Patron Saint of Futility, Mr. Tyd has decided to share his misfortunes with others in the hope that his exposition of their fraudulent personages may allow others to avoid his fate.
Mr. Tyd may be contacted at ellistyd (at) lstyd.com if it is really necessary, although he would prefer that you did not.
That is all.
Oh my gosh I just read this too and now I am rolling with laughter. You are really funny!
Only one thing I would have added: The lottery laws clearly state, the operator of any lotto, lottery, etc. must pay entrants to any contest requiring an entry fee or, payment for delivery of a winning payment; A payment of $420.99 for delivery of such payment by, Courier. So, until Frank sent payment of $420.99, you could not legally send payment of $420. Oh yeah, how’s Frank’s family. We do need to maintain some etiquette, here.