This message will self-destruct in 3… 2…

This arrived the other day. It points out the need to learn the language that you with which are attempting to communicate.

We are expected, we assume, to believe that this has originated on behalf of the International Monetary Fund which, unfortunately for the author, shares its initials with another organization, the Impossible Mission Force.

Subject: FROM IMF HEAD OFFICE COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC
From: USA AMBASSADOR
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Date Sent: 3/12/2015 4:04:22 PM

IMFLogoLogo1Logo2IMFLogo

As is quite often the case, the message came addressed to our alter-ego, Undisclosed Recipients.

FROM IMF HEAD OFFICE COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC
OFFICE ADDRESS 88 GOV ROD CA JACKSON 2  COTONOU BENIN

We tried – and failed – to locate the offices using various map searches. We looked for both the Impossible Mission Force and the International Monetary Fund, whose logo imf_seal
wasn’t all that difficult to locate. Of course, we didn’t look on customaniacs.org which seems to be the watermark on the other IMF logo.

PLEASE  DON’T OVER-LOOK THIS E-MAIL.

We seldom overlook emails from our friends in Africa, although we believe the ‘r’ in friends may be superfluous.

MY DEAR  THIS IS MY (10) GOOD YEARS WORKING UNDER (I.M.F) OFFICE AND I HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD SO FAR AND IT WILL NOT START IN YOUR OWN TIME RATHER YOU WILL SHOWS YOUR APPRECIATION TO ME BY SENDING ME A GIFT ONCE THIS TRANSFER FINALIZE AND YOU HAVE YOUR FUND RECEIVED AS I PROMISE YOU FROM THE BEGINNING.

If we interpret the preceding correctly, we are to send the author a gift if he doesn’t become a criminal in the immediate future.

YOU AND I KNOWS THAT  THERE IS SO MANY SCAMS IS GOING AROUND THE GLOBAL WORLD TODAY USING NAMES OF BANKS OFFICES AND COMPANY’S TO SCAM MONEY OUT FROM INNOCENT PEOPLE BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT EVERY BODY IS A SCAM.

True enough, not everybody in the global world is a scammer, however it has been our experience that there are great pockets of them in Conotou, Benin.

AS IT STANDS NOW, I HAVE NOTING TO PROVE MYSELF THAT I AM NOT AMONG THE SCAMMERS UNTIL I FULFILLED MY PROMISE BY GETTING YOUR FUND TRANSFER TO YOU, THAT IS ONLY WAY I CAN PROVE MYSELF INNOCENT IN THIS MATTER AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M DOING SO FAR BY TRY MY BEST TO MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE YOUR FUND.

It may be a variation on a theme. but the preceding paragraph translates loosely as “Trust me”.

I FEEL THE PROBLEM YOU HAVE NOW IS NOT THAT YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY TO SEND BUT LACK OF TRUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATED MANY TIMES WITH THIS TRICK OF SENDING MONEY TO MINE PEOPLE RELEASE YOUR FUND . ALTHOUGH, I AM NOT AGAINST WHAT YOU HAVE SAID BECAUSE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO PEOPLE IN THIS GLOBL WORLD TODAY.

We assure you we have never been cheated in this regard and do not recall having said anything to this individual in the global world, but we may have besmirched him on other planes of existence.

WHICH I KNOW THAT AFTER THIS CHARGE YOUR FUND WILL BEEN TRANSFER TO YOU ,KINDLY GIVE ME THIS LAST CHANCE AND TRUST AND SEE IF I WILL NOT FULFILLED MY PROMISE TO YOU BY GETTING YOUR FUND TO YOU WITH OUT ANY FURTHER DELAYS AND REMEMBER THAT THIS WILL BE MY LAST CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF INNOCENT, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT AFTER YOU SEND THE $60.00  YOUR FUND WILL BE TRANSFER TO YOU IMMEDIATELY.

The oddest part of this missive is that they want us to send sixty dollars but have made no effort to entice us with dreams of riches and ATM cards, etc. All they have to offer is a fund, amount unspecified.

SEND VIA WESTERN UNION  OR MONEY GRAM WITH THIS INFORMATION DOWN TO BENIN REPUBLIC.

From our particular frame of reference Benin is to the right rather than down.

RECEIVER NAME: FELIX OFOR
COUNTRY IS / BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY ADDRESS IS / COTONOU
QUESTION:… FAST
ANSWER:… NOW
AMOUNT:………….$60 USD
MTCN:…………………….
SENDERS NAME:………

SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS TO ME WHICH ARE SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS, MTCN NUMBER, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER USED AND THE AMOUNT SENT.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

munson

We do not know why they felt it was necessary to include a picture of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, but they did.

THANKS AS I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE

RESPECTIVELY   CALL +229-66025274

MIF. Directors DR. KERRY M REX MUNSON

In a stunning surprise, we also received this same email from  DR. JOSEPH SIMON. He did not provide any pretty pictures, not to imply that Mr. Strauss-Kahn is in any way pretty.

UPDATE 3.25.2015 – Yet another version from BARR KATHERI TAYLOR. This must have been in this month’s template package.

We ran this email through a grammar checker and are pleased to announce that, with kindness and care, the checker is expected to make a full recovery.
As attempts at scams go, this one falls quite short of being effective.We must, therefore, conclude that this is a fraud.
That is all.

This entry was posted in Humor, Sarcasm, Satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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