In light of the recent doings in Denver and the upcoming overthrow or, at the very least, pending shakeup of the American government, we would feel remiss if we failed to offer, once again,
The Official HowToSpotAFraud.com Honest Politician Scanning Device
as an aid to help you navigate through the next few weeks.
To those who may find themselves faced with the dilemma of determining whether they are facing an honest politician or a Fraud, we offer the HowToSpotAFraud Politician Scanning Device.
Download the image above to your personal computing device. It is nicely sized to fit on a 3″ by 5″ index card.
Print it directly on a card or print it to paper and carefully affix it to such a card with either glue or tape. The choice is entirely yours.
Carefully remove the area conveniently marked “REMOVE”.
Note: As the removal of the panel marked “REMOVE” may involve the use of sharp instruments, such as a knife, take care not to remove any body parts, regardless of how insignificant, during the operation. Should you feel uncomfortable using a device which might be construed as a weapon in some circles, please feel free to ask an adult for help.
The next time you are faced with the task determining whether you are facing an honest politician or not, please follow these easy instructions.
First: Take out your card. Note: The card may be carefully folded in order to fit better in you pocket is necessary.
Second: Hold your card at a comfortable distance from your eyes.
Third: Close one eye, the preference is at your own discretion. The scanning device has no preference, as it is politically neutral, left or right will perform equally well in this case.
Fourth: Move the card about until the politician in question is visible through the viewing portal.
Five: Using your own best judgement, we have faith in you, compare the subject being scanned with the control politician on the left. Again the placement of the control subject on the left is not meant to imply that he is either left or right politically. His position was based solely on the amount of space available on an index card, allotting the image approximately half the card and a nonpartisan coin toss, using a coin bearing the same politician. That coin being chosen for fairness.
Six: Form a conclusion.
We hope that this valuable device will be of great assistance in determining How To Spot A Fraud.
That is all.