Thank you for your interest.

From time to time we receive emails which are difficult to classify. The more mundane Nigerian scams are fairly transparent, but occasionally we receive one like the one below.

Subject: MAIL ORDER
From: Sales
Date Sent: 11/21/2011 8:11:11 PM

Sales,

I will like to order some of your products and I will want it shipped to our place as follows :

Shipping Address: 21/49 Norcal Road Nunawading, Victoria Australia 3131
Phone (+61 ) 9873 7677 Fax (+61 ) 9873 7655

So i hope to hear from you soon regarding my inquiry and to know where i can view your products you have presently in stock and if there is any special pricing i need to know about. Lastly regarding payment, Mode of Payment is Our USA credit card to charge for my order to avoid delays but can you let me know the type of credit cards you accept? I hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

NOTE IN TERMS OF SHIPPING THAT CAN BE ARRANGED WITH THE RIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY AND PAPER WORK AND ONCE YOU CAN WORK WITH THE SHIPPING COMPANY PROVIDED,SHIPMENT WILL GET TO OUR DOORSTEP IN NO

Regards.

We are currently unaware of any products that we might have for sale. Of course, were the Nigerians to be believed, we seem to routinely misplace vast sums of money, which for reasons unknown tend to gravitate toward Africa.

As this is the second or third time that there has been an inquiry regarding our product line we decided to respond as follows. We will update this post should we hear back, but we are never sure, when writing a response such as this, if we have pressed the issue too hard.

We shall see.

At any rate, this was our response, sent Nov 22,2011 at 9:30 Am EST.

We breathlessly await a further inquiry.

 

Thank you for your interest in Acme Synthetic Hairballs.

Our primary goal at Acme Synthetic Hairballs is to provide customers a method for fulfilling their hairball needs while freeing them from the need to maintain a herd of cats sufficient to keep up with hairball demands. 

As the hairballs are constructed from entirely man-made materials, you should have no difficulties importing them into Australia as they contain no organic components.

Hairballs may be purchased in a wide variety of sizes and colors to match any décor.

While Acme Synthetic Hairballs may be purchased pre-slimed, we find that most customers prefer to purchase them dry as the sliming fluid does contribute to the weight of the hairballs and as such can increase shipping costs. Hairballs are easily slimed using glycerin or egg whites.

We at Acme Synthetic Hairballs take pride in our ability to custom tailor hairballs to match specific customer requirements.

Hairballs can be produced to match any breed of cat, from domestic shorthair to exotic Angoras. We find that Elf, Dwelf and Sphynx cat owners actually prefer Acme Synthetic Hairballs over those produced naturally by their pets.

Should you desire more information, please respond with your mailing information and we will be happy to have a customer service representative mail you our informative color catalog.

As luck would have it, the 2012 catalog has just arrived from the printer and you would be among the first to have access to our new exotic Asian & African lines where we have carefully reproduced hairballs from some of the world’s  largest cats, including, as special order only, rare albino Siberian Tiger hairballs.

We accept almost any form of payment, but special discounts are available for customers paying in Kazakhstanian Bottle Bottoms and pre-Bolshevik rubles.

We look forward to hearing from you and hope that we might be able to persuade you to become the first Australian supplier of Acme Synthetic hairballs. 

Sincerely,

Ellis Tyd
Acme Synthetic Hairballs, LLC.

 

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