You Won… Well, not really, but we’re going to try to convice you otherwise… for a small fee… or two… a pittance really…

Oh goody, we won a lottery…. again. This time it’s from England. 

We heard on the radio this morning that Germany is becoming upset with England. We believe we’ve seen that somewhere before. Given the current state of affairs in Europe, we should probably start scrambling to collect.

Of course, on the other hand, we should probably investigate a bit first.

This could be a Fraud. The links are all safe, by the way.

Subject: You Won
Date Sent: 11/13/2011 9:28:52 PM

Since the sender implies that we’ve won the national lottery in England, we decided to visit their website to see what they had to say.

Well, whoever sent us this did at least use an official email address. We are certain, however, that before we reach the end we shall be instructed to forward all communications to someplace else, probably in Africa. We shall see.

The body came in an attachment as presented below.

P O Box 1010
Liverpool, L70 1N
(Customer Services)
Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/09/ZY369

Hmmm. According to the National Lottery website, the lottery is located in Watford, which is some three hours from Liverpool by car.

Registration details
Camelot UK Lotteries Limited
Registered office: Tolpits Lane, Watford, Herts WD18 9RN
Registered in England and Wales No. 2822203

It is beginning to look as though we may continue to be not rich for the forseeable future.

Dear Lucky Winner,

Once again, we have managed to keep our identity secret.

We are pleased to notify you the Draw (#1658) of the NATIONAL LOTTERY, Online Sweepstakes International Lottery Program held on Saturday, 12th November, 2011.

There seem to be some words missing here, don’t you agree?

Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from a pool of over 25,000 names of distinguished professionals drawn from Europe, America, Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Middle-East, parts of Africa, and North & South America as part of our international promotions program conducted annually to encourage prospective overseas entries.

We would like to believe that were we among the pool of 25,000 distinguished professionals world-wide that we would not be sharing our meals with the cat and if we were to share our meals with the cat that it would be a kindness on our part, and not a gracious gesture by the cat. The National Lottery additionally has some stern words regarding the eligibility of persons, not currently in England. This does not look as if it is going to turn out well.

We hope with part of your prize awards, you will take part in our subsequent lottery jackpots.

Did they not just say that we could not participate, except that we were in England?

The result of our computer draw (#1658) which took place on Saturday, 12th November, 2011 selected email address attached to an e-ticket number 56475600545 188 with Serial number (5627635368/10) drew the lucky numbers:  06 12 13 28 33 38(bonus no. 10), which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category to the sum of £ 1,963,927 (One Million, nine hundred and sixty-three thousand, nine hundred and twenty-seven British Pounds Sterling). You have therefore been approved to claim your winning in cheque credited to file KTU/9023118308/10.

It appears that the writer has put some effort into his letter. There was a drawing 1658 on November 12 which did, in fact, pay £ 1,963,927. Sadly the National Lottery also had this to say on the subject: “We don’t tell players how much they’ve won in an email

Your prize award has been insured in your email address and is ready for claims. To begin your claims therefore, you are advised to expeditiously contact our licensed and accredited claim agent for Overseas Lottery Winners within a period of 7 days (date of this email inclusive) for the processing of your winning and remittance to your designated bank account after all statutory obligations have been satisfactorily dispensed with.

We searched around the National Lottery website and found this:

If you win a prize of more than £50,000 you will need to speak to The National Lottery Customer Care Team on 0845 278 8000 to validate your claim and we will arrange to process your prize claim in person.

We would expect that we shall be instructed to call that number very shortly. We shall not, however, hold our breath in expectation.

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned. You may want to go through our online web result checker to verify your prize online with your numbers: 06 12 13 28 33 38

These are real, legitimate links to the National Lottery. The following is a real, legitimate letter T: T. Both the links and the T have the same bearing on this email.

This promotion takes place twice weekly.

This is also an important and popular fact.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our African booklet representative office in South Africa as indicated in your play coupon.

Excuse us, what? See, what did we say earlier? Africa, it is.

In view of this, your funds would be released to you by any of our payment offices in South Africa.

In light of the enormity of the prize, we were willing to overlook the three hour drive to Liverpool, but South Africa? Really?

Please be informed that claims not processed within the stipulated period may be forfeited to the pool without further notice.

The National Lottery says this:

All prizes must be claimed by 11pm on the 180th day following the date of the relevant draw, or after the relevant Interactive Instant Win Game was purchased.

We believe that leave us until sometime in early May.

Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact her. You may wish to establish contact via e-mail with the particulars presented below sending the batch and reference numbers and these information below for quick verifications and release of funds between the hours of 8.00am – 7.30pm on Monday through Sunday.

Just as we thought, we have been directed elsewhere. Why is this not a surprise?

Overseas Claims Unit
United Kingdom Lottery Fiduciary
Contact Person: Miss Helen Jones
Email: ( )

We visited We are not sure whether it is legitimate or not, not that it really matters in this case. We did send this to hoping that, if they are legitimate, they will deal with Miss Jones.

1. FULL NAMES: __________________________________
2. FULL ADDRESS: ____________________________________________
3. SEX: _______________
4. AGE: ________
5. MARITAL STATUS: ___________________
6. OCCUPATION: ________________________
7. E-MAIL ADDRESS: _____________________________
8. TELEPHONE NUMBER: _____________________
9. LOTTO NUMBER: __06 12 13 28 33 38__B. DRAW NUMBER: __1658__
10. TICKET NUMBER: __56475600545 188___
11. SERIAL NUMBER: __5627635368/10___
13. AMOUNT WON: ______£1,963,927 _____________________________

Unfortunately, knowing for certain that another fortune has passed us by, we feel some of the snarkiness has gone out of our sails. We must note that if any of these fools were to master the use of HTML tables, the forms requesting information would look much better.

Make sure this Verification and Funds Release Form is sent to the Fiduciary agent for quick verification and funds release purpose. Our winners are assured of the utmost standards of confidentiality, and press anonymity until the end of proceedings, and beyond where they so desire. Be further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent claims. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.

We are always surprised that organizations that run legitimate lotteries are not so considerate about the privacy of the winners. Usually they can’t wait to get the winners name, picture, police records, closet skeletons, etc. on the evening news as quickly as possible.

At your disposal, we remain.

Very Truly Yours,
Jack Lee

Actually, Jack, in our disposal, you get flushed.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: Occasionally, some programs and free email providers, including Hotmail and Yahoo wrongly identify our emails as spam. If you cannot find our subsequent email in your inbox, please check the location used to store junk mail and spam messages.

We cannot for the life of us, understand why that would happen.

Oh well, another day, another lost fortune. No matter, the cat is off his food today, so there’s an extra chicken sandwich in it for us.

Should you receive this email, updated, we would hope, with next week’s lottery results. Please understand that you did not win either. There is no one in South Africa with your National Lottery UK winnings.

This is a Fraud.

That is all.

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