We remember back when J. Edgar Hoover ran the F.B.I. He always managed to present himself as a fairly articulate man.

What has the world come to?

We have received many emails of one form or another from the current director Mr. Robert Swan Mueller III.

Did the man not graduate from middle school — or could this be a Fraud?

Subject: Ellis Tyd Welcome To Federal Bureau of Investigation
Date Sent: 9/23/2011 3:00:45 PM

In a rare occurence, our mystery correspondent knew both our name and our email address. This is a very rare thing indeed.

It makes us no more likely to believe the message than a total miss would however.

Nevertheless, let us step through the message testing for veracity.

Welcome To Federal Bureau of Investigation
We think “Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Investigation” would be better and the “Greetings from the Federal Bureau of Investigation” would be better still.

Our correspondent has taken the time to scour the internet in order to find a lovely picture of Director Miller, though not a recent one, which he then paired with a logo of the  F.B.I. culled from parts unknown.

From Mr. Robert Swan Mueller III

We understand that there is a budget crisis, God knows we have fielded enough complaints from the cat regarding domestic caviar, but AIM for email? Seriously, is the budget that tight?

To Your Attention Ellis Tyd

Sir/Madam notification came to our office here that you have being involved with money-laundering  or financial crime with the Nigeria government, The Metropolitan Police notifies us that am ATM card was to be delivered to you and you were required to provide some documents for clearance but you refused.

They got our name right and follow-up with Sir or Madam – not exactly confidence inspiring.

It strikes us that the ATM card’s delivery would have been crucial to the money laundering, were that the overall plan. Our alleged refusal would only have been common sense. “The Metropolitan Police notifies us?”, “am ATM card?” What are they drinking?

All your information we have them all and will start a proper investigation if you fail to provide those clearance certificate before the next 7days. This is all i have to advise you on.

We suspect that we may not be dealing with the actual FBI director. That is merely a suspicion, mind you.

Be obedient to the law and don’t let yourself to be a victim of 9/11 attack as we are still in the remembrance.

We are somewhat confused by the 9/11 reference. What does 9/11 have to do with a make-believe ATM card?




Once again we are treated to a photograph of the director in his younger days along with an FBI logo carefully cut from the FBI website.

The writer then felt it necessary to follow the signature with  the following list of (disabled) bilingual links. We are not sure why.

Sections Secciones
    • FBI Headquarters Sede del FBI
    • Local FBI Offices Las oficinas locales del FBI
    • Overseas Offices Oficinas en el exterior
    • Submit a Tip on Crime/Terrorism Enviar un Consejo sobre la delincuencia / Terrorismo
    • Report Internet Crime Informe sobre la delincuencia en Internet
    • More Contacts… Más contactos …
    • Quick Facts Datos rápidos
    • What We Investigate Lo que investigamos
    • Frequently Asked Questions Preguntas más frecuentes
    • History Historia
    • Partnerships and Outreach Asociaciones y Alcance
    • Reports and Publications Informes y Publicaciones
    • Criminal Justice Information Services Justicia Penal de Servicios de Información
    • Information Technology Tecnología de la Información
    • Intelligence Inteligencia
    • Laboratory Services Servicios de Laboratorio
    • National Security Branch De Seguridad Nacional, Poder
    • Training Academy Formación de la Academia
    • More About Us… Quiénes somos …
    • Ten Most Wanted Fugitives Diez fugitivos más buscados
    • Most Wanted Terrorists Terroristas más buscados
    • Seeking Terrorism Info Buscando información Terrorismo
    • Kidnappings & Missing Persons Los secuestros y las personas desaparecidas
    • Parental Kidnappings Los secuestros parentales
    • Crime Alerts Alertas del crimen
    • White Collar Crimes Delitos de Cuello Blanco
    • More Wanted by the FBI… Más Buscados por el FBI …
    • News Blog Blog
    • Photo Gallery Galería de fotos
    • Podcasts & Radio Podcasts & Radio
    • Press Releases Notas de prensa
    • RSS News Feeds RSS de noticias
    • Speeches Discursos
    • Stories Historias
    • Testimony Testimonio
    • Video Vídeo
    • Widgets Widgets
    • Background Checks Revisión de Antecedentes
    • Crime Statistics/UCR Las estadísticas del crimen / UCR
    • Criminal Justice Information Services Justicia Penal de Servicios de Información
    • Fingerprints & Other Biometrics Las huellas dactilares y otros parámetros biométricos
    • FOIA/Records Requests FOIA / registra las solicitudes de
    • Gun Checks/NICS Los cheques arma / del NICS
    • Laboratory Services Servicios de Laboratorio
    • Law Enforcement Services Servicios de Aplicación de la Ley
    • Name Checks Comprueba el nombre
    • Reports & Publications Informes y Publicaciones
    • Training Formación
    • Victim Assistance Asistencia a las Víctimas
    • More Resources… Más recursos …
    • Be Crime Smart Advice Consejos ser delito inteligente
    • Common Fraud Schemes Los regímenes comunes de fraude
    • E-scams & Warnings Fraudulentos y advertencias
    • Report Internet Crime Informe sobre la delincuencia en Internet
    • Sex Offender Registry Registro de Delincuentes Sexuales
    • Submit a Tip on Crime/Terrorism Enviar un Consejo sobre la delincuencia / Terrorismo


He closes with an “FBI in Spanish” link and logo. Once again we are stumped as to why.

We feel quite comfortable in dismissing this message as a Fraud. Should you receive a similar tome, please, do yourself a favor and delete it.


This is a Fraud.

That is all.

This entry was posted in Email fraud, Humor, Sarcasm. Bookmark the permalink.

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