We remember back when J. Edgar Hoover ran the F.B.I. He always managed to present himself as a fairly articulate man.
What has the world come to?
We have received many emails of one form or another from the current director Mr. Robert Swan Mueller III.
Did the man not graduate from middle school — or could this be a Fraud?
Subject: Ellis Tyd Welcome To Federal Bureau of Investigation
From: FBI CONTACT
Date Sent: 9/23/2011 3:00:45 PM
In a rare occurence, our mystery correspondent knew both our name and our email address. This is a very rare thing indeed.
It makes us no more likely to believe the message than a total miss would however.
Nevertheless, let us step through the message testing for veracity.
Welcome To Federal Bureau of Investigation
We think “Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Investigation” would be better and the “Greetings from the Federal Bureau of Investigation” would be better still.
Our correspondent has taken the time to scour the internet in order to find a lovely picture of Director Miller, though not a recent one, which he then paired with a logo of the F.B.I. culled from parts unknown.
From Mr. Robert Swan Mueller III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.
We understand that there is a budget crisis, God knows we have fielded enough complaints from the cat regarding domestic caviar, but AIM for email? Seriously, is the budget that tight?
To Your Attention Ellis Tyd
Sir/Madam notification came to our office here that you have being involved with money-laundering or financial crime with the Nigeria government, The Metropolitan Police notifies us that am ATM card was to be delivered to you and you were required to provide some documents for clearance but you refused.
They got our name right and follow-up with Sir or Madam – not exactly confidence inspiring.
It strikes us that the ATM card’s delivery would have been crucial to the money laundering, were that the overall plan. Our alleged refusal would only have been common sense. “The Metropolitan Police notifies us?”, “am ATM card?” What are they drinking?
All your information we have them all and will start a proper investigation if you fail to provide those clearance certificate before the next 7days. This is all i have to advise you on.
We suspect that we may not be dealing with the actual FBI director. That is merely a suspicion, mind you.
Be obedient to the law and don’t let yourself to be a victim of 9/11 attack as we are still in the remembrance.
We are somewhat confused by the 9/11 reference. What does 9/11 have to do with a make-believe ATM card?
YOURS IN SERVICE,
MR. ROBERT SWAN MUELLER
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)
Once again we are treated to a photograph of the director in his younger days along with an FBI logo carefully cut from the FBI website.
The writer then felt it necessary to follow the signature with the following list of (disabled) bilingual links. We are not sure why.
He closes with an “FBI in Spanish” link and logo. Once again we are stumped as to why.
We feel quite comfortable in dismissing this message as a Fraud. Should you receive a similar tome, please, do yourself a favor and delete it.
This is a Fraud.
That is all.