There’s clearly no need to rush things

There’s clearly no need to rush things

Sorry for the delay, we were out on the left coast for the past few days, in the lovely city of Los Angeles. The hotel brochure advertised wireless internet. Unfortunately their focus was entirely on the wireless aspect of the term, as in no wires to the internet, hardwired or other wires.

Just goes to prove that you shouldn’t believe everything you read, which is a recurrent theme here.

Of course, our absence is probably only significant to the one or two who read this with regularity, although we would suspect the spammers were the only ones to notice our absence.

Nonetheless we are back, we are sure that both of you who read this will be thrilled. We shall press on in any case.

We received an urgent plea to help quickly resolve a case concerning money which has been languishing about for these past eleven years. Our writer is clearly acquainted with a definition of urgent with which we are unfamiliar.

You may view the original here

Subject: Profitable Business Proposal
From: Mr.Golan Bradley
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Date Sent: 1/31/2011 7:20:29 AM

It seems that this proposal has been the source of Mr. Bradley’s livelihood for quite some time. That is a disappointing thought.

Dear Friend ,

This mail might come to you as a surprise and the temptation to ignore it
as serious could come into your mind but please consider it and accept it
with a deep sense of humility.

Of course it’s a surprise, just as it was on all those previous occasions when we received it. Mr. Bradley should be good at being humble given the length of time he has been at it.

Before proceeding, I wish to introduce  myself to you; I am Golan Bradley a staff of NatWest Bank plc London. I am the head of the accounts department. I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion.

We found the NatWest Bank website amusing to say the least. It is very convincing, if you’re looking for hair care products.

I contacted you after a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which i explained below.

Mr Bradley deliberated for eleven years, we can safely assume we were not his first choice.

The sum of (£18,500,000.00 Million Pounds), has been floating as unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all efforts to get across to the his relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones.

We find it very hard to believe that any government would allow eighteen and a half million pounds lay unclaimed for eleven years especially when the owners died so inconspicuously.

On July 25th, 2000, Mr. Kurt Ran Kahle, Evlyne his wife, and their son Michael all died in the air France concord plane crash bound for New York in their plan for a world cruise.

My position here at my office requires me to investigate and I therefore
made further investigations and discovered that Mr. Kurt Ran Kahle did not
declare any next of kin or relation in all his official documents,
including his bank deposit paperwork in my bank.

I have decided to seek your assistance to have you stand as his next of kin so that the said fund (£18,500,000.00 Million Pounds), would be released in your name as the next of kin and paid into your account. All documents and proof that will have you claim this fund without stress will be forwarded to you upon your response to this mail more so.

We find it a bit hard to believe that there are no other contingency policies in effect at Mr. Bradley’s bank than to summon the help of strangers.

I want to inform you that i have unanimously agreed to offer you (£7.2M) of the total sum for the assistance and role you are going to play in this transaction,(£2.8M)will be given to charity organizations in your country with your supervision while the remaining will be for me.

We are pleased to learn that Mr. Bradley was able to convince all of himself to agree.

Is the 2.8 million in addition to the 7.2 million or is it deducted from it? We need to know this up front.

Please send your confidential telephone and fax number in your reply to this mail:

Seems a bit odd that Mr. Bradley’s email is from Hong Kong.

Golan Bradley (Mr.)

Should Mr Bradley and his tale of woe arrive in your inbox, we would hope that your course of action should be clear. If it is not, let us refresh your memory.

This is a Fraud. Delete it.

Join us next time for “If at first you don’t succeed” here at

That is all.

This entry was posted in Email fraud, Humor, Satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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