At our Whim – Part One – A Gift

At our Whim – Part One – A Gift

We are in a generous mood today, so we offer a gift from the caring staff here at

Often times we find ourselves faced with insufferable stupidity, we are sure you find yourself in similar situations from time to time. What to do?

In olden days, a popular and common solution generally ended with the ceremonial filing of a notch in one’s gun handle.

Unfortunately, we do not live in a time when dealing so directly with such issues is either wise or encouraged.

We offer a solution, a small monetary gift which can be presented to your adversary, directly or anonymously, use you’re own discretion.

If you hand one of these cards to a large armed surly man named Bruno, and are not very fast on your feet, we are not to be held liable for the consequences. Perhaps placing one under his windshield wipers may be a better tact.

Nonetheless, we present for your amusement, the official greeeting card. Business Card Business Card

A full-page containing ten of these wonderous devices is available by clicking here.

How to make your own:

Print the PDF file on your favorite printer using any blank business card stock which uses an Avery 8371 template.

These are available everywhere office supplies are sold. They come in a wide variety of colors and textures, we have had great success with white matte finshed stock.

Once you have them printed, carefully separate them according to the instructions which came on the package.

Next, the tricky bit, carefully glue a real Lincoln penny to the card where indicated by the picture of the Lincoln penny. We have found Stik’n Seal Ultra, from Loctite, to do an admirable job. It is available at many fine establishments. Allow the cards to dry overnight.

What happens next is entirely up to you and as we mentioned previously, we are not responsible for your actions.

Should you be so emboldened, the back of the card supplies a full two by three inch space where you may provide a personal message.

We would request that one restrain one’s language as we are trying to run a class joint here.

Again, we have given you a stick, should you choose to poke a bear with it, that choice and the bear’s response are beyond our control.


That is all.


This entry was posted in Humor, Sarcasm, Satire and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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