The Long and the Short of It

The Long and the Short of It.

Today we present a sturdy in contrasting styles.

Subject number one, in its entirety:

From: Taaaaa A Xxxxxxxx [mailto:taaaaa.xxxxxxxx@nyu.edu]
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2011 12:06 AM
Subject: Reply Back

Business proposal for you of Thirty million four hundred Thousand United State dollars.Reply back to (kaling_wong19480@yahoo.cn) if interested.

Subject number two, also in its entirety:

From: Danny .S Morgan [mailto:dms—535363672@att.net]
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2011 7:13 AM
To: undisclosed recipients:
Subject: IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT VIA CASH DELIVERY.UNITED NATIONS (/IMF ASSISTED PROGRAMME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS,
UNITED-NATIONS INCONJUNCTION WITH THE (/IMF)
RE-UNION ASSISTED RECONCILIATION PROGRAMME
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL CASH PAYMENT
DELIVERY WITH IMMUNITY CLEARANCE ON ALL YET
UN-PAID FOREIGN OWED PAYMENT UNIT,
Our Ref: UN//IMF/UK-NG/APPROVED-PLAN/NOV 2010
England BB4 6, United Kingdom .
Email:danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk
FAX: +44-700-600-2345

57 words

IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT VIA CASH DELIVERY.

I am Barr: Danny. S Morgan, the newly appointed director general in charge of approving & releasing all owed yet unpaid\Un-released foreign payments and also the special adviser to the United-Nation fighting against the un-necessary delays of beneficiaries yet unclaimed payment including yours which was recently discovered this week that has not yet been paid to you by the present BRITISH GOVERNMENT after series of investigation conducted.

I am delighted whole heartedly to inform you that the contract/Inheritance panel of the UN, which just concluded it’s seating in London federal capital territory just released your (E-mail Id & Name) among the currently approved beneficiaries who are to benefit 100% from this very diplomatic immunity 3rd quarter payment of the year.

This panel was primarily delegated to investigate and to genuinely manipulate all owed debts and claims as it has eaten deep into the economy of the Great Britain-London.

However, i wish to personally bring to your urgent notice, so that you will be aware that your yet unclaimed payment data’s is still reflecting in our central computer as unpaid and un-claimed owed debt in my department where i newly work as the new appointed (UN) lawyer in charge of approving & releasing of all yet unpaid debts recently recovered back by the (UN) office in London been our branch after discovering that your payment has been delayed un-necessary due to one reason or another while auditing was going on this week.

Your own file was personally forwarded to my executive office by the chief auditors of the (UN) as an unclaimed fund. At this moment, I wish to use this medium of communication to inform you that for the time being the (UN) has completely stopped further payment through bank to bank transfer, Atm Card, Bank Draft or Check Payment due to numerous petitions received from the united states home-land security, the FBI, IMF and other financial and security agencies to UK Government against our banks on wrong payment and diversion of innocent beneficiaries owed funds to a different account.

In this regards, I am going to use my good office now to send you your just approved part-payment in the tune of $6M (Six million United States Dollars) only by cash to you via a special (UN) universal diplomatic delivery means to you. In process of doing that, I will personally secure every needed documents as the newly appointed lawyer representing the (UN) office now to cover the money including the affidavit to claim of this particular yet unclaimed payment from our federal high court here in London which will bestow the right and privilege to you as the rightful beneficiary who is to receive this payment after meeting up with the delivery requirement as the British law stipulates.

All these will be done perfectly only on the condition that you will give me 10% of the funds we are about disbursing to you which is Six Hundred Thousand United States dollars only out of the $6 million you are to receive as soon as you receive the money which will come to you through Diplomatic means.

Note: The money will be coming on 2 security proof trunk boxes. The boxes are already sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine by the managing of this organization and i also want you to know that the management are not aware of my plans with you in this transaction, so you have to keep it a top secret till me and you are able to conclude this very transaction. This fund was brought to us from the World Bank special delegates because the funds itself was meant for our local fame market here in the UK . .But you don’t have to worry for any thing that need to be taking care of here in London, as this transaction is 100% risk free and will remain legit as long as you work with me transparently. The boxes are coming with a diplomatic agent assigned by the management of this organization. Who will accompany the boxes to your house address or any address you will provide to me for this transaction to enable us complete.

All you need to do now upon your willing acceptance on my condition, is to send to me a guarantee that you will give me 10% of the funds as soon as you receive the $6.M and your full house address and your identity such as, international passport or drive license including your personal contact phone numbers which must be a working numbers, the diplomatic attached will travel with it. He will call you immediately he arrives in your country’s airport to update you and I hope you understand each and every point that I’ve made clear to you in this email message am sending you.

WARNNING/ADVISE: Please note carefully that any money requested from you by anybody, office, banks or group of people from Africa/Nigeria or any part of the world to receive your payment expect the United-Nation Appointed Commission Office (UK), presently in charge of recovering all un-necessary delayed yet unclaimed owed debts payments, whom the FBI, IMF and other financial agencies have irrevocably approved that should serve you better and ensure you receive your payment this time around, so kindly note that any money sent by you to any office in Africa/Nigeria is at your OWN RISK, so stay away from any other office, person or group of people and face only the United-Nation Appointed Approved Payment Disbursing High Commission Office only till your payment gets to you safely through Diplomatic means.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: for security reasons and to enable the both of us conclude this transaction successfully, note that the diplomat coming with the consignment boxes will not know the original contents inside the boxes he is to deliver to you. So what l and our accredited management will declare to him that is inside the consignment boxes is a sensitive photographic film material and classified volume confidential company’s contract documents.

Also note categorically that, before i proceed with the next arrangement, you are advice to call me at Tel: +44-702-4045564. or respond back to me immediately through email,danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk so we can talk and agree first before i seal this transaction with you and if you have any question to ask for more clarification before and remember to send the required information’s directly to my Email address and I will let you know how far I have gone with the arrangement. I will secure the diplomatic immunity clearance certificate that will be tagged on the boxes to make it stand as a diplomatic consignment. This clearance will make it pass every custom checking point all over the world without any hitch. All this I will do with my own money as your partner.

Please, I need your urgent reply via my email address, because the boxes are schedule already to live immediately as soon as I hear from you today. You should confirm immediately you receive this message through my Email: danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk Tel: +44-702-4045564.

Congratulations Once AGAIN.

Respectfully Yours in-service,
Barrister. Danny .S Morgan,
(UN) Human Right Activist.

The goal in each case is the same. The approaches are radically different.

From: Taaaaa A Xxxxxxxx [mailto:taaaaa.xxxxxxxx@nyu.edu]
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2011 12:06 AM
Subject: Reply Back

Business proposal for you of Thirty million four hundred Thousand United State dollars.Reply back to (kaling_wong19480@yahoo.cn) if interested.

Our first correspondent’s entire message, including the address, used thirty-three words. The name used, by the way, was real, and undoubtably falsely used, hence the editing. Thirty-three words designed to bait us into responding to an offer of over thirty million dollars. a very economical use of words indeed.

Our second correspondents attempt to entice us with six million dollars, clocks in at an astounding one thousand two hundred and seventy words. There are fifty-seven words in the subject alone, fifty-eight if you include “Subject:”.

Put another way, the value of a word in the first message is slightly less than one millions dollars. Our second correspondent believes talk is cheap and only places a value of four thousand seven hundred and twenty-four dollars on each and every word. That’s quite a difference.

Subject message number one is self-explanatory and to the point. It is still, nonetheless, a Fraud.

Let’s take a closer look at subject message two, as it, too, is undoubtably a Fraud.

From: Danny .S Morgan [mailto:dms—535363672@att.net]
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2011 7:13 AM
To: undisclosed recipients:
Subject: IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT VIA CASH DELIVERY.UNITED NATIONS (/IMF ASSISTED PROGRAMME)
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS,
UNITED-NATIONS INCONJUNCTION WITH THE (/IMF)
RE-UNION ASSISTED RECONCILIATION PROGRAMME
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL CASH PAYMENT
DELIVERY WITH IMMUNITY CLEARANCE ON ALL YET
UN-PAID FOREIGN OWED PAYMENT UNIT,
Our Ref: UN//IMF/UK-NG/APPROVED-PLAN/NOV 2010
England BB4 6, United Kingdom .
Email:danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk
FAX: +44-700-600-2345

Well, that is certainly an impressive subject, as well as a very puffed up organizational title. Well done Barrister Danny S. Morgan.

IRREVOCABLE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT VIA CASH DELIVERY.

He’s so proud of that phrase that he says it again.

I am Barr: Danny. S Morgan, the newly appointed director general in charge of approving & releasing all owed yet unpaid\Un-released foreign payments and also the special adviser to the United-Nation fighting against the un-necessary delays of beneficiaries yet unclaimed payment including yours which was recently discovered this week that has not yet been paid to you by the present BRITISH GOVERNMENT after series of investigation conducted.

That is a mouthful Barrister Danny. We could not have muddled it any better ourselves.

I am delighted whole heartedly to inform you that the contract/Inheritance panel of the UN, which just concluded it’s seating in London federal capital territory just released your (E-mail Id & Name) among the currently approved beneficiaries who are to benefit 100% from this very diplomatic immunity 3rd quarter payment of the year.

If one speaks in long sentences one must appear intelligent, even is the sentence one speaks is not.

This panel was primarily delegated to investigate and to genuinely manipulate all owed debts and claims as it has eaten deep into the economy of the Great Britain-London.

Barrister Danny is long on words, short on clarity.

However, i wish to personally bring to your urgent notice, so that you will be aware that your yet unclaimed payment data’s is still reflecting in our central computer as unpaid and un-claimed owed debt in my department where i newly work as the new appointed (UN) lawyer in charge of approving & releasing of all yet unpaid debts recently recovered back by the (UN) office in London been our branch after discovering that your payment has been delayed un-necessary due to one reason or another while auditing was going on this week.

How could one even question such sincerity? As generous as Barrister Danny is with words, he is equally frugal with sentences, averaging one per paragraph at the moment.

Your own file was personally forwarded to my executive office by the chief auditors of the (UN) as an unclaimed fund. At this moment, I wish to use this medium of communication to inform you that for the time being the (UN) has completely stopped further payment through bank to bank transfer, Atm Card, Bank Draft or Check Payment due to numerous petitions received from the united states home-land security, the FBI, IMF and other financial and security agencies to UK Government against our banks on wrong payment and diversion of innocent beneficiaries owed funds to a different account.

Just when he is doing so well, he slips and uses two sentences. Look carefully at the second line, there’s a period hiding in there just after “fund”.

In this regards, I am going to use my good office now to send you your just approved part-payment in the tune of $6M (Six million United States Dollars) only by cash to you via a special (UN) universal diplomatic delivery means to you. In process of doing that, I will personally secure every needed documents as the newly appointed lawyer representing the (UN) office now to cover the money including the affidavit to claim of this particular yet unclaimed payment from our federal high court here in London which will bestow the right and privilege to you as the rightful beneficiary who is to receive this payment after meeting up with the delivery requirement as the British law stipulates.

His job scope seems to expand with every paragraph. He managed two sentences here as well. He uses a lot of words in being unclear.

All these will be done perfectly only on the condition that you will give me 10% of the funds we are about disbursing to you which is Six Hundred Thousand United States dollars only out of the $6 million you are to receive as soon as you receive the money which will come to you through Diplomatic means.

Ten percent? That doesn’t sound very up and up.

Note: The money will be coming on 2 security proof trunk boxes. The boxes are already sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine by the managing of this organization and i also want you to know that the management are not aware of my plans with you in this transaction, so you have to keep it a top secret till me and you are able to conclude this very transaction. This fund was brought to us from the World Bank special delegates because the funds itself was meant for our local fame market here in the UK . .But you don’t have to worry for any thing that need to be taking care of here in London, as this transaction is 100% risk free and will remain legit as long as you work with me transparently. The boxes are coming with a diplomatic agent assigned by the management of this organization. Who will accompany the boxes to your house address or any address you will provide to me for this transaction to enable us complete.

What is he sending? It sounds like its cash. Why is it in two trunks and what is synthetic nylon made of? We suspect that Barrister Danny may speak a language other than English whilst relaxing at home.

All you need to do now upon your willing acceptance on my condition, is to send to me a guarantee that you will give me 10% of the funds as soon as you receive the $6.M and your full house address and your identity such as, international passport or drive license including your personal contact phone numbers which must be a working numbers, the diplomatic attached will travel with it. He will call you immediately he arrives in your country’s airport to update you and I hope you understand each and every point that I’ve made clear to you in this email message am sending you.

Regarding the last sentence above. The last thing you have done, Barrister Danny, is make anything clear. Your points have been as sharp as marbles and clarity is not an attribute I would apply to your writing.

WARNNING/ADVISE: Please note carefully that any money requested from you by anybody, office, banks or group of people from Africa/Nigeria or any part of the world to receive your payment expect the United-Nation Appointed Commission Office (UK), presently in charge of recovering all un-necessary delayed yet unclaimed owed debts payments, whom the FBI, IMF and other financial agencies have irrevocably approved that should serve you better and ensure you receive your payment this time around, so kindly note that any money sent by you to any office in Africa/Nigeria is at your OWN RISK, so stay away from any other office, person or group of people and face only the United-Nation Appointed Approved Payment Disbursing High Commission Office only till your payment gets to you safely through Diplomatic means.

How on earth could anyone read that last paragraph and then come to the conclusion that this is a legitimate offer from a high-ranking official at the United Nations. If you re-read that paragraph and then still feel the need to send money somewhere, leave a comment down below and we shall forward instructions as to where to mail your cash. We can guarantee it will not fall into the hands of Nigerian scam artists.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: for security reasons and to enable the both of us conclude this transaction successfully, note that the diplomat coming with the consignment boxes will not know the original contents inside the boxes he is to deliver to you. So what l and our accredited management will declare to him that is inside the consignment boxes is a sensitive photographic film material and classified volume confidential company’s contract documents.

So, now we’re going to lie to the courier, sounds more and more like Barrister Danny is planning on mailing cash. A million dollars in its smallest cash form is approximately 8 in. by 6 in. by 13 in. and weighs about twenty pounds. We hope the courier is strong and doesn’t wonder why he’s carrying 120 pounds of classified photographs in two good size padded boxes sealed with artificial nylon.

Also note categorically that, before i proceed with the next arrangement, you are advice to call me at Tel: +44-702-4045564. or respond back to me immediately through email,danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk so we can talk and agree first before i seal this transaction with you and if you have any question to ask for more clarification before and remember to send the required information’s directly to my Email address and I will let you know how far I have gone with the arrangement. I will secure the diplomatic immunity clearance certificate that will be tagged on the boxes to make it stand as a diplomatic consignment. This clearance will make it pass every custom checking point all over the world without any hitch. All this I will do with my own money as your partner.

We can’t help but believe that were we to call Barrister Danny, he would suddenly be slightly short of funds and need something from us to tide him over until we can send his $600,000. We also believe that we could have a more intelligent conversation with the cat.

Please, I need your urgent reply via my email address, because the boxes are schedule already to live immediately as soon as I hear from you today. You should confirm immediately you receive this message through my Email: danny.s_morgan@yahoo.co.uk Tel: +44-702-4045564.

We think that the boxes are more inclined to leave than live, but what do we know?

Congratulations Once AGAIN.

Respectfully Yours in-service,
Barrister. Danny .S Morgan,
(UN) Human Right Activist.

Now Barrister Danny is a Human Right Activist as well.

Let’s review his positions.

1. The newly appointed director general in charge of approving & releasing all owed yet unpaid\Un-released foreign payments.

2. The special adviser to the United-Nation fighting against the un-necessary delays of beneficiaries yet unclaimed payment including yours which was recently discovered this week that has not yet been paid to you by the present BRITISH GOVERNMENT after series of investigation conducted.

3. The new appointed (UN) lawyer in charge of approving & releasing of all yet unpaid debts recently recovered back by the (UN) office in London.

4. The newly appointed lawyer representing the (UN) office.

5. Something of some sort at the United-Nation Appointed Approved Payment Disbursing High Commission Office.

6. The procurer of the diplomatic immunity clearance certificate that will be tagged on the boxes to make it stand as a diplomatic consignment.

7. Your partner.

8. Barrister. Danny .S Morgan (with a reversed initial for a middle name)

and last, but not least:

9. (UN) Human Right Activist.

He does all these amazing things with just a cell phone and a British Yahoo email account. We are impressed, but not so impressed that we would label this as anything but a Fraud.

Should you hear from either of our correspondents, just delete their messages knowing full well that each is a Fraud.

Join us next time for “The Case of the Misplaced Messenger” here at HowToSpotAFraud.com.

That is all.

This entry was posted in Email fraud, Humor, Sarcasm, Satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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