Owed two a Gramma gnat see

Sum whirred a peers upon the Paige,

Mai site goes read, mined filled with rage.

Four nun, ewe sea, aloud should bee,

too spell a whirred in core wrecked lea,

oar leave it they’re fore awl two sea.


Its an at tack, eye no, they’ve maid,

aimed strait at mi, its thyme they paid.

Eye mussed respawned, Kant let it wrest

ore aisle half failed in my grate quest

two show the whirled that Im thee best!


Grate worriers of the passed guyed me

too write this wrong witch mussed knot bee.

Aisle set them strait, yule sea, eye will.

Howe daire they rite such offal swill!

A sharpe retort shud brake they’re will.


A calmer voice comes from behind,

“It’s just a word, don’t lose your mind.

Relax, my friend, don’t have a care.

It’s really not your cross to bear.

See, better now, yes? They’re, their, there.”






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Brought to you by the letters B & S

You may or may not have run into this or something very similar:


It is quite often the result of a poorly vetted pop up ad.

It is generally found travelling in the company of an annoying beeping sound.

If you read it your first reaction might be something akin to “Oh,God! Oh, God! We’re all gonna die!“.

That would be an incorrect response.

You might even be tempted to call them as you probably will have noticed that your browser is pretty much inoperative at this moment in time.

That would be an even more incorrect response.

There are no Microsoft certified technicians available at that number.

The call would connect you with bottom feeders who will try to convince you to give them access to your computer, allegedly so that they can save you from disaster (at a price), after which they will make a concerted effort to steal everything that’s not nailed down.

So, what to do with your horribly infected computer?

Murder the intruder!

But how, you may ask.


At the bottom of your screen – this assumes that you are running some form of windows – right click on the taskbar and select Task Manager from the pop up menu.


You should see something similar to the screen above.

Click on the line Internet Explorer, or Chrome, Firefox, Safari or whatever browser you have open.

Once you’ve done that click the End Task button at the lower right.

Your browser will close and the beeping will stop.

When you restart your browser, it may offer to recover your last session.

Decline the offer or you’ll go right back down the rabbit hole and it will be necessary to start the killing all over again.

At this point, it is a good idea to clear your cache and browser history so that you don’t accidentally hit the Back button and end up back at the beeping mess again.

This piece of garbage seems to be built using Amazon Web Services.

The offending website’s address is https://keaclicDOTs3DOTamazonawsDOTcomSLASHindexDOThtml.

I have reported it to Amazon, but I’m sure that it is not an isolated instance.

Obviously you should not visit it, unless you like debugging computers or have an abnormal fondness for beeping sounds.

I have seen similar pages on an iPad. To kill them you must go to Settings, then Safari, again assuming that you’re using the default browser, then Clear History and Website Data.

Otherwise, you will just go right back there when you restart Safari.

As sad as this thing is, I find it sadder still that they seem to be able to profit from it.

That is all.

UPDATE 6.23.16 – They are now operating @ security-warning.fck3d.pw – phone 877-608-4718







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Today’s scam is brought to you by the letter “F”

When we receive mail such as the following, we often look for curious phrases to run through search engines, more for our one amusement than anything else.

For this message we chose the phrase “released disk”.  We tried the search on Google, ask.com and Bing, expecting similar results from all three. Google, returned a variation of this letter on the first page, as did Ask.com. Bing, rather disappointingly, found nothing until page seven.

So, if you’re trying to find out if you’re being fooled, we suggest that you do not as Bing.

Anyway, we digress.

Subject: Regarding Your Unpaid Fund.
From: Miss Rita Okey
Date Sent: 3/26/2015 2:25:18 AM

From the subject, we gather we are going to be offered money of some sort.

Dear Beneficiary,

The money will probably be from some recently deceased unknown stranger.

I am Miss Rita Okey a computer scientist working with central bank of Nigeria. I just started work with C.B.N. and I came across your file which was marked X and your released disk painted RED, I took time to study it  and found out that you have paid VIRTUALLY all fees and but the fund was not released to you.

We read the help wanted sections from time to time and, as a rule, banks do not generally recruit computer scientists.  We have seen files marked X before. As a rule, painting disks, red or any other color, is not recommended. It tends to convert them from floppy disks to sticky disks.

The most annoying thing is that they won’t tell you the truth that on no account will they ever release the fund to you, instead they allow you spend money unnecessarily, I do not intend to work here all the days of my life, I can release this fund to you if you can certify me of my security.

Sadly we are not in the protection racket, else we might be willing to avail ourselves of your kind offer.

I need to do this because you need to know the statues of your Funds and cause for the delay, Please this is like a Mafia setting in Nigeria, you may not understand it because you are not a Nigerian. The only thing needed to release this fund is the 2015 New Payment Authorization Code which will be Fixed in your release disk and confirmation to the FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE (FMF) for clearance of the transferred amount in your account.

Why are there statues of our funds? We also do not think that being Nigerian would make this any clearer.

Once the 2015 New Payment Authorization Code is obtained funds will immediately reflect in your bank within 24hrs, the code is all that is needed to complete this transaction.

We had a 2012 New Payment Authorization Code, is there a discount for upgrading?

Note that the actual funds are valued at $25 MILLION USD and the lists below are the mafias and banks behind the non release of your funds that t I managed to sneak out for your kind perusal.

Apparently, she had been discussing the fictitious funds before this.

And here is the list of those out to get us.

1) Prof. Charles soludo

2) Senator David Mark

3) Chief Joseph Sanusi

4) Dr. R. Rasheed

5) Barrister Awele Ugorji

6) Mr. Roland Ngwa

7) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams

8) Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Obi

9) Dr. Patrick Aziza – Deputy Governor – Policy / Board Member

10) Mr. Tunde Lemon – Deputy Governor – Financial Sector Surveillance / Board Member

11) Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia Deputy Governor – Corporate Services / Board Members

What happened to twelve? There’s supposed to be a twelve.

13) Mrs. Rita Ekwesili

14) Barr Jacob Onyema

15) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Nigeria.

16) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.

17) Foreign fund diplomatic courier

18) Barr. Becky Owens

19) Rev. Steven Jones

20) Bank of Africa

21) Mrs. Debbie Hargrove

22) Mr. Michael Wagner

From this point on until we reach number seventy seven, all names have at least one name starting with the letter “F”. Fabulous.

23) Barr. Isa Farid

24) Dr. Raymond Faye

25) Ibraheem Fashola

26) Dr. Leslie Fawaz

27) Mercy Fajaroo

28) Walter K. Falana

29) Azeez Fatou

30) Ibrahim Fabumi

31) Daniel Faras

32) Michael Faras

33) Minassa Fernandez

34) Viresh Fernando

35) Deacon Diende Fernandez

36) Ben Felix

37) Dr. Ige Femi

38) Chen Hsiu Fei

39) Gloria Festus

40) Lopez Fernando

41) Aloye Fidelis

42) Augusto Fish

43) Dr. Raymond Fingesi

44) Dr. Martin Fibu

45) Joseph Finn

46) Ogom Fidelis

47) Jennifer H. Fiedler

48) Dr. Jimmy Fowler

49) Robert Fortin

50) Dr. Sharon Forrest

51) Prince Michael Fofano

52) Sarah Fofano

53) Tony Foster

54) Dr. Koman Fofar

55) Samuel Fona

56) Fred Gate

57) Funmi Folorunso

58) Mike Franklin

59) Egbo Francois

60) George Freeman

61) Senator Jude Fred

62) Paul Frank

63) Dr. Francis Fregere

64) Walter Freer < /font>

65) Olu-Segun Fredrick

66) Justice Philip Francis

67) Raul Franco

68) Desmond Fred

69) Madu Frank

70) Rita Frank

71) Godwin Frank

72) Dr. J. Frances

73) Frank Francis

74) Derrick Frans

75) Kingsley Fred

76) Dr. Carlos Frederico

77) Dr Ola Funmilowo

Having finished the “F” names, we now leap ahead to number one hundred seventeen. We don’t pretend to know why.

117) Engr. Sule Garuba

118) Idris Garuba

119) Mustapha Garuba

120) ADB Bank Ouagadougou Burkina Faso

121) FSA UK


123) ECO Bank

124) Credit Bank

125) Barr Greg Thompson



128)Mrs. Linda WAZIRI

Well, it seems that the enemy has brought quite a force to bear upon us.

Do get in touch with me immediately. to conclude this final transaction immediately, and also send to me your details including your telephone  numbers for easy communications.+234 8115354496


Rita Okey

 Thank you, Rita, for your efforts, but we feel required to pass.

Should you hear from Rita, do not attempt to reclaim the twenty five million dollars. You will only fail after spending a unknown amount of money.

For you see, this is a fraud.

That is all.

Posted in Email fraud, Humor, Satire | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments