I don’t think that’s how they work.

TFAmex

Has anyone else noticed that in the Tina Fey American Express commercials that she swipes her card with the magnetic stripe on the wrong side?

Watch carefully. The image above is at 00:29.

We could all save a lot of money if we could use them this way.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7gYl/american-express-everyday-card-everyday-moments-feat-tina-fey

That is all.

Posted in Humor, Sarcasm | Tagged , | Leave a comment

KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND? Didn’t know we were lost.

Given the volume of emails which we receive along the lines of the following, we are bothered by the nagging thought that there are people living among us, hopefully not breeding, who would seize upon such a tome as an opportunity not to be missed.

Could this be a legitimate offer of riches? Let’s examine the evidence.

Subject: ATTENTION PLEASE GET BACK TO ME NOW IS GOOD NEWS
From: Dr.Peter Chris.
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Date Sent: 3/15/2014 10:44:07 AM

Right off the top we have CAPITAL LETTERS. Only the most important and valid offers come dressed all in CAPITAL LETTERS. We think they teach that technique in the better schools.

We also recognize the universal greeting “undisclosed-recipients”. We wonder why it is not used more frequently.

ATTENTION PLEASE GET BACK TO ME NOW IS GOOD NEWS

Punctuation and grammar are, as always, optional.

I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU IF THIS IT’S NOT TRUE. I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM
MR.JAMES KELLER,HE CALLED US YESTERDAY WITH THIS TELEPHONE
NUMBER:866862311 INFORMING ME THAT YOU ARE DEAD AND HE SAID THAT I
SHOULD SEND HIM YOUR FUND TO HIS HOME ADDRESS: 1011 S 7TH ST.
WATERTOWN, WI 53094, USA, BECAUSE HE IS YOUR NEXT OF KIN BENEFICIARY
TO YOU, AND HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT YOU INSTRUCTED HIM TO CLAIM YOUR
PROPERTIES INCLUDING YOUR MONEY IN CASE BECAUSE YOU ARE NO MORE TO BE
FOUND ON EARTH.

First question: If it was true, would they be happy to tell us we’re dead?

Second question: What type of organization accepts email and a phone number as identification when large sums of money are involved?

Third question: Will they charge Mr. Keller any money to do this?

Fourth question: How did Mr. Keller get a nine digit phone number in Wisconsin?

We searched for Mr. Keller and found this, which appears to be one of the author’s earlier works.

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH
AND I DON’T KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE
EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGADING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND.THIS IS MY
PROMISE TO YOU THAT I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING WITHIN MY POWER TO
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FUND IS BE TRANSFER TO HIM AS YOUR NEXT OF KIN
BENEFICIAL TO YOU MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE AND MAY GOD
GRATE YOU INTERNAL LIFE ON THE LAST DAY TO COME I AM VERY VERY SORRY.

This paragraph would make an interesting greeting card. “Sorry to hear that you’re dead.” If we were, in fact, no more to be found, it would most likely be because we were hiding from the likes of you. Telling a dead person that you are going to give their money to an imposter doesn’t work for too many reasons to list.

As far as God grating our internal life goes, we can think of more pleasant ways to spend eternity.

 HE DID ALSO SAID HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SPEND SOME MONEY TO GET THE
FUND BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I SHOULD LET HIM
KNOW THE COST,I TOLD HE TO HOLD ON AND LET ME VERIFY IF THIS IS TRUE
OR NOT BECAUSE I AM CONFUSED NOW ABOUT THIS CLAIM’S ARE ADVICE TO SEND
YOUR ADDRESS TO ENABLE ME PROCEED ON YOUR TRANSFER IF THIS IS NOT TRUE
BUT FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU ARE TO PAY FOR THE APPROVAL CERTIFICATE
FEE OF YOUR FUND,WHICH THE IF IT IS TRUE THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE

Ah, so they do plan to charge him a fee. At least they’re consistent. One could have a field day punctuating the previous paragraph.

THESE ARE YOUR FUNERAL PICTURES HE SUBMITTED TO ME AS THE FINAL
CEREMONY OF YOUR BURIAL I AM EXPECTING FOR THE PAYMENT RECEIPT OF THE
$55.00 USD DOLLARS, YOU ARE TO USE THE NAME INFORMATION’S ( MR JOHN
OBI ) AND FORWARDED THE PAYMENT SLIP URGENTLY TO MY IMMEDIATE ACTION
TO ENABLE YOU RECEIVED YOUR FUND IN YOU COUNTRY.FORWARDED THE PAYMENT
RECEIPT THROUGH OUR ECO BANK DIRECTOR GENERAL HERE
(eecobakplc1@gmail.com  ) YOU ARE MANDATED TO COMPLY TO US WITH THE
PAYMENT SLIP. THANKS BE INFORM THAT AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE $55 USD TO
MR JOHN OBI TOMORROW MORNING,YOUR FUNDS OF USD$4.800,000.00 WILL BE
TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT IN YOU COUNTRY ON OR
BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING

Dear Acme Insurance Company,

We would like you to pay the death benefit from our policy to someone who will show up in your offices later today wearing a mullet wig, baseball cap, sunglasses and an obviously fake moustache. They will have as proof of our demise as a fuzzy out of focus photograph of a graveside ceremony. Please make the check out to Undisclosed Recipients.

Thank you,

Undisclosed Recipients

That would be about as effective, don’t you think?

THANKS, PLEASE WE ARE EXPECTING FOR THE PAYMENT RECEIPT URGENT.THIS IS
THE NAMED ( MR JOHN OBI ) YOU ARE MANDATED TO COMPLY TO US WITH THE
PAYMENT SLIP.AND HOW LONG ARE YOUR GOING TO SEND THE MONEY TELL ME OK
GOOD MORNING AND HAPPY EASTER. YOU ARE STILL HOLDING THIS YOUR FUND IN
THIS UBA BANK $4.8 MILLION DOLLARS GO AND MAKE THIS PAYMENT AND
RECEIVE YOUR FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. THIS IS MONEY GRAM5G
INFORMATION

Please slow down. This is a lot of information for a dead person to absorb. If we are still holding the money why do we need to pay $55 to get it back from us? We do not remember being schizophrenic. Do we?

RECEIVER NAME :…….MR JOHN OBI
COUNTRY……………BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY……………………COTONOU
QUESTION…………..HOW LONG
ANSWER…………….TODAY
AMOUNT…………….$55.00 USD
MTCN…………..
SENDERS
NAME……..

WE AWAIT FOR THE PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TOMORROW MORNING.
YOUR URGENT RESPOND IS HIGHLY NEEDED.AND REMEMBER TO CALL ME AS SOON
AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL REGARD .THANK YOU.

It’s always a big rush isn’t it. This is probably how the money got misplaced in the first place.

+229 99 451 433
THANKS MY REGARDS
REV DR.PETER CHRIS:

Apparently Dr. Chris attended divinity school during the course of writing this.

Alas, once again, we must conclude that this is a FRAUD.

That is all.

Posted in Email fraud, Humor, Sarcasm | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

A worthy cause

This petition is available at

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/win-war-terror-without-single-dead-soldier-declare-iran-nation-immigrants/33C0Zbgf

Win The War on Terror Without a Single Dead Soldier—-Declare Iran a “NATION OF IMMIGRANTS.”

Did you know that Iran is a vibrant, ethnically diverse melting-pot of Kurds, Turks, Azeris, and Arabs?

Iran owes its Islamic heritage to a wave of immigration from Arabia over a thousand years ago.

Instead of war, we urge the President to build upon this multicultural heritage and declare Iran a “Nation of Immigrants.”

That way Iran will be obliged to accept millions of immigrants from West Africa and Latin America.

Any Iranian who resisted would surely be called “racist” and fired from his job.

By 2060, Iranians would be reduced to a small minority and no longer a threat. By 2100 the Iranians would disappear completely.

Don’t declare “War.” Declare “Nation of Immigrants.” The results are the same without a single shot fired

We did not create it. We merely stumbled over it.

 

Posted in Political Satire | Leave a comment

Happy Holidaze

Once again, we have received a letter from the government where they are trying to help us get some money.

That right there is enough to make us want to cry foul, as they traditionally seem to feel for their part that it is better to receive than to give. But let’s examine the rest of it just in case there’s precedent being set.

Reply-To: <mrssusanrice909@yahoo.co.jp>
From: HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICE <mrjohnpeters@live.com>
Subject: U.S. Department Of Homeland Security,
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:41:47 +0000

It has always puzzled us (and continues to do so) as to why, with all its resources (not to mention the ability to print money at will), the United States government can’t master the art of setting up email servers, choosing instead to rely on companies like LIVE.COM and in this case, the Japanese version of Yahoo. But who are we to say.


US flag   Official web site of the Department of Homeland Security

TSA Holiday Travel Updates

The Transportation Security Administration provides updates for travelers ahead of the holiday travel season.

 holiday-travel-640x360

Learn More

Obviously these two gentlemen have not seen Firefly or the movie SERENITY or they would be running faster.

While it’s nice to think that the TSA is looking out for us, we are a little lost as to which holiday season they are preparing for.

Here’s what the next week has to offer:

Saturday Mar 22 Nevruz Day Albania
Saturday Mar 22 Persian New Year (day 3) Azerbaijan
Saturday Mar 22 Norooz Holiday Iran
Saturday Mar 22 Nauryz (Day 2) Kazakhstan
Sunday Mar 23 Persian New Year (day 4) Azerbaijan
Sunday Mar 23 Day of the sea Bolivia
Sunday Mar 23 Norooz Holiday Iran
Sunday Mar 23 Nauryz (Day 3) Kazakhstan
Sunday Mar 23 Pakistan Day Pakistan
Monday Mar 24 Memorial Day Argentina
Monday Mar 24 Persian New Year (day 5) Azerbaijan
Monday Mar 24 Saint Joseph’s Day Colombia
Monday Mar 24 Norooz Holiday Iran
Monday Mar 24 Nauryz (Day 2) observed Kazakhstan
Monday Mar 24 Nauryz (Day 3) observed Kazakhstan
Tuesday Mar 25 Persian New Year (extra holiday) Azerbaijan
Tuesday Mar 25 Greek Independence Day Cyprus
Tuesday Mar 25 25th of March Greece
Tuesday Mar 25 Anniversary of the Arengo San Marino
Tuesday Mar 25 Maryland Day United States
Wednesday Mar 26 Persian New Year (extra holiday 2) Azerbaijan
Wednesday Mar 26 Independence Day Bangladesh
Wednesday Mar 26 Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day United States
Saturday Mar 29 Youth Day Taiwan

Tuesday and Wednesday look like the big ones for the United States, so plan accordingly.

U.S. Department Of Homeland Security,
Mg Timothy J. Lowenberg, Adjutant General And Director State Military
Department Washington Military Dept., Bldg1 Camp Murry ,Wash
98430-5000 USA
Tel/Fax: 1 202-343-4011

With regard to Timothy Lowenstein, we are familiar with Mr., Mrs., Miss and Ms.

What is Mg? Multi-gendered? One can only guess, but we digress.

Welcome to Homeland Security, With all due respect ,we want to inform you about your ATM CARD package which is under our custody here in USA, we stopped your ATM CARD package on the process DHL COURIER COMPANY delivery your package to your designation .but  because DHL COURIER COMPANY is not with INTERNATIONAL STAMP DUTY PERMIT, we are here to serve you better once you get the INTERNATIONAL STAMP DUTY PERMIT

The style of writing used above is generally reserved for scripts and screenplays where the use of CAPITAL LETTERS allows prop people and such to quickly scan the script looking for items which may need procurement and to allow others to find character names quickly.

It did conjure a vision of a lonely little ATM card sitting in a dank and dreary cell singing to itself.

Once again we are mystified by the delivery method. While we are not familiar with foreign ATM’s, we can’t imagine that the cards would be much larger than the massive 2 x 3.5 inch pieces of plastic used in the United States.

We have never received one except in a number 10 business envelope, which does not require a courier company to transport it in a truck or a plane.

be informed that we are about to give account to the Federal Government in respect of discovered lost Fund  as Anti-Terrorist Fund or drug Fund in 4 days and i want you to bear in mind that if you fail to get the INTERNATIONAL STAMP DUTY PERMIT in 3 days,your ATM CARD package will be terminate as one of the lost Fund, based on that, you have only 3 days to get the certificates

Are they giving the account to the government or are they giving an account to the government? See, even little words like the and an can change the meaning of the whole thing.

Lost? How did they lose it? We are beginning to understand why the lines at the airport have gotten so long.

Finally, we want to be be rest assure that once you get the INTERNATIONAL STAMP DUTY PERMIT, we will accompany DHL COURIER COMPANY  with your ATM CARD package to your doorstep, if you will? view the attach to see my official I.D Card

Will there be a motorcade? How many of them are coming with the DHL truck? Won’t that look suspicious? Just put the damned thing in an envelope and give to the Post Office. I’m sure they’d be willing to take it.

Awaiting for your response

Sincerely Yours,
Janet Napolitano
Secretary Of The Department Of Homeland Security
Department of Homeland Security Chief FOIA Officer

Looks like Mg Timothy didn’t make it to the end of the letter. Either that or Janet is moonlighting as his secretary.

janet

This is not a happy looking woman.

official I.D CARD (2)

At any rate. Should you receive a message similar to this, do not respond. Nothing good will come of it.

This is a fraud.

That is all.

Posted in Email fraud, Humor, Sarcasm, Satire | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Deval Patrick Says ‘Maybe’ To Potential Presidential Run

Deval Patrick Says ‘Maybe’ To Potential Presidential Run

Remember you heard it here first! Posted 11/17/2011

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Another Deadline, but there’s no real rush.

When last we heard from Director Mueller he was trying to get us to send $58 to Africa in order to get an ATM card shipped to us. He had just returned to the office after taking a few days off due to stress.

Now, it seems, we are the focus of his attention again.
We wonder why this time.

Subject: FBI NEED SOLID PROOF FROM YOU BECAUSE OF THE FUND YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE?
From: Federal bureau of investigation
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Date Sent: 6/27/2013 8:13:08 PM

As usual, Bob’s forgotten our name again.

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal bureau of investigation
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/09/13.

It’s the little touches, such as “Ref:FBI/DC/09/13″, that add so much credibility to these email. Don’t you agree?

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,
This is an official advice from the FBI foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. it has come to our notice that bank of Nigeria has released US$10,500,000.00 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary, by Inheritance means. The bank of Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to affect this payment from the United Kingdom to your account, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (S.T.D.P) to pay this fund through wire transfer, they used this means to complete the payment.

When we pay our bills, we always use secret diplomatic transit payments, they are so much more convenient than having to mail a check. It also helps the economy by keeping small herds of secret diplomats off the unemployment rolls. Of course the ones we use are (S.D.T.P)s.

They are still waiting for confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, which were made in direct transfer so that they can do final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities why must your payment be made in secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate, if you are not a terrorist, then why did you not receive the money directly into your account? This is a pure coded means of payment which we have had in the past has always been related to terrorist acts, we do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your account, so it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account.

It seems that the FBI has nothing better to do than stick their noses into everyone’s secret diplomatic business. It puzzles us as to why the bank hasn’t contacted us about this. Surely they must be aware that the funds are somewhere.

As an afterthought, if this is such a secret way of transferring money, why do so many people seem to know about it.

And another thing, if all secret diplomatic transfers are related to terrorism, shouldn’t it be a simple task to round up all the terrorists?

Due to the increased difficulty and unnecessary scrutiny by the UK/USA authorities when funds come from outside of America, and the Middle East, the F.B.I crime commission has stopped the transfer on its way to deliver payment of US$10.500.00 through a secured diplomatic transit, account (S.D.T.A). We govern and oversee funds Transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody until you can be able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 3 days from the world local bank that authorize the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive from Nigeria are terrorist/drug free else we shall have cause to cross and impound the payment, however, we shall release the funds immediately we receive this legal documents. 

Ah, so now the FBI has stopped the transfer and they have the money, not the secret diplomat as we were previously lead to believe.

See, this is how wars get started. The FBI has no authority to be sticking its nose into the Nigeria banking community. That’s the province of either the CIA or the NSA. Interpol might have some sway with the world bank, but the FBI seems to have gone around them and butted in directly.

We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved, we want to make sure that the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive is not in doubt whatsoever. Note!! The fund is in the Bank of America right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds, to this regards, you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is clean and legitimate by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) to certify that the fund is not for terrorism/money laundering. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, let us know so that we can direct you where to get it.

Wait a minute.

Now the money’s in the Bank of America? Didn’t the FBI just say they had it? Why haven’t we heard from Bank of America? We are getting very confused.

 These Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you dont have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by the bank that initialized the transfer Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment,Naturalization or military service.

What? The bank that is sending us the money is using a method reserved for terrorism but if we get a certificate from them saying that its not terrorism everything will be alright. Is that what the FBI is trying to say here?

Not to mention that the previous paragraph is very difficult to read as it is a single sentence, more or less.

These conditions is Valid until 31
st  of  September 2013 after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Nigeria.

Well, we have until the 31st of September so clearly there’s no rush here.

We are somewhat at a loss as to how we could be charged with moving money out of Nigeria since the money seems not to have left Nigeria and since we knew nothing of its existence until just now.

Guarantee: funds will be released on confirmation of the document.
——————————————————————————–

Well it’s nice to know that the FBI has a warranty program in addition to its warrants.

Final instruction:
60fCredit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee
61eBeneficiary has full power when validation is cleared
62 Beneficiaries bank in USA/outside can only release funds-
62 Upon confirmation from the world bank/united nations.
64 Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request

We must ponder what condition 63 must have been.

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive.

Next they’ll send the mattress tag police after us. The ones responsible for enforcing “This tag must not be removed under penalty of law”, despite the fact that they are usually placed somewhere where they must be removed if only for esthetic reasons.

The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in U.S and outside. An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons, individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history background, etc.).

The previous paragraph must be important, it’s red.

FBI Director
R
obert S. Mueller III.

Sorry Bob. This is a fraud.

Please do not wait patiently for us to respond. Get on with your life. You’re retiring soon. You need to be making plans.

That is all.

 
Aside | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Three quarters of a day.

We recently received an important missive, allegedly from our old friend Bob Mueller at the FBI, who was kind enough to take a break from the NSA phone snooping kerfuffle to inform us that yet another fortune was heading our way.

[Dear NSA reader, this is a work of satire. It should not be taken seriously. We sincerely wish you the best of luck in reacquiring Edward Snowden. Please, feel free to click about the site, it helps out page view count.]

One must hedge one’s bets on occasion.

Subject: Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI.WASHINGTON DC
From: Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI.
To: undisclosed recipients:
Date Sent: 6/5/2013 12:07:02 PM

We believe we are meant to believe that this email’s point of origin may have something to do with the FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation) in Washington DC, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe, etc.

We could be wrong, but that’s the way we’re leaning at this time.

Of course, one might also believe that the FBI might have been able to investigate our name as undisclosed recipients is both impersonal and plural.

18HOURS TIME

Are we to assume that we have been given a deadline? Let’s press on.

Robert S. Mueller, III
Senior Office Department Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI.WASHINGTON DC

The statement above may be the closest this email’s closest approach to the truth. There is a Federal Bureau of Investigation. It is in Washington, DC and Robert S. Mueller is the director.

As they say in French, “La plume de ma tante est sur le bureau de mon oncle”.

Which, like the quote from the email above, has nothing to do with anything at this present time.

Know More About Me: http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/executives/director  29TH MAY 2013 LAST UPDATE.

Can you imagine how much better life would be if everyone who we ever dealt with set up a web page so that we might know them better.

Think how much more enjoyable it would be if, as you watched your car being repossessed by Rocco and his knuckle-dragger associates, you were able to visit Rocco’s webpage and learn that not only did he get into the repossession business after his parole but that he also collected PEZ dispensers and crocheted doilies in his spare time when he wasn’t grooming his Siamese cats.

Why, it would eliminate the need for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest ….

Oh, never mind.

I am sorry for the late reply i was not feeling good all this while due to office stress but everything is ok now due to i followed my doctor advice and stayed out of office for two days.

As we never asked Bob a question, we are not as concerned as to the lateness of his response as he seems to be.

Hopefully he got the advice late on Friday so that he didn’t need to use his sick time.

Perhaps this “office stress” is a contributing factor to his decision to step down later this year which will undoubtedly set off a cut and paste frenzy on the African continent unprecedented in human history.

If Ban Ki Moon resigned from the U.N at the same time the world’s spam output would drop to near zero for months.

I resumed office some hours back and i received update from Mr. Andrew Hill he told me There will be an International Flight today by 9pm and Mr. Andrew Hill will act as your diplomat and deliver the package to you which will take only 18 hours to get the package delivered.

It’s nice to know that with all his problems, Bob thought of us before the NSA.

Note: The package you will receive contain a Visa Credit Card which contain $20 Million usd ,Master Credit Card which contain $200,000 and a verified cashier check worth $3 Million usd with the required security document which was made in your name as the sole owner and it also include the security pin you will use to transact with both credit cards.

We have always at the ease with which these cretins are able to get their hands on our credit cards.

We have had to pretty much sign in blood at a local branch of our bank when we have had to replace a card which had a scratched magnetic stripe, which we had in our possession and were able to show to the bank personnel who still demanded dental records and yet somehow  these people are able to have our cards shipped directly to them in Nigeria.

It is a puzzlement indeed.

The sum of $58 is required to enable Mr.Okolo Nnamdi get a diplomatic package seal with tag or else the International Airport customs will not allow him to board the flight with the package and this diplomatic package seal with tag will be made in your name as the owner of the package.

We suggested that were Mr. Nnamdi to place the aforementioned cards into his wallet and perhaps use the check as a bookmark that the $58 and all the needless folderol would be unnecessary.

We even went so far as to suggest that were they to simply email us the customer service telephone number from the back of the card, that we would be happy to call Visa and MasterCard directly, explain that somehow our cards were accidently sent to a random African and request that they send us replacements.

Not surprisingly, we did not hear back.

There is no much time left and the fee need to be paid today to enable him board tonight flight and it will take 18 hours to get the package delivered to you.

After reading Director Mueller’s webpage, we are surprised to see that he has so much difficulty with English. One might almost think that we are not in communication with Director Mueller but rather with a very clever impersonator.

We looked up the longest international flights, assuming that it might give us a clue as to where the cards were coming from, but none of them leave at 9 PM.

Send the $58 charge fee and get your package delivered within 18 hours and this will be the only fee and last fee required from you toward this transaction.

Until the next one.

USE THE DETAILS BELOW TO SEND THE $58 VIA WESTERN UNION.

RECEIVER NAME: Mr.OKOLO NNAMDI
ADDRESS: 12 EMBASSY STREET
CITY: APAPA
STATE: LAGOS
COUNTRY: NIGERIA
ZIPCODE: 23401
TEXT QUESTION: Y
ANSWER: Z

23401 is the zip code for Keller, Virginia. They don’t seem to use zip codes in Nigeria.

AWAIT YOUR REPLY AND THE REQUIRED PAYMENT CONFIRMATION DETAILS..

While you’re waiting you might find passing the time will be easier if you find a good book to read.

STAYS BLESS.

This might be a violation of church and state, not that we are trying to make a federal case out of it. Far be it from us to counsel the FBI as to the conduct of its day to day affairs.

Robert S. Mueller, III
Senior Office Department Tel +234 8138 601 630
Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI.WASHINGTON DC

Since 234 is the country code for Nigeria, we wonder how did Bob string the wire into his office in Washington.

Know More About Me: http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/executives/director

Just in case we missed the opportunity to get to know Bob better.

realfibinvestigation@rocketmail.com

Nothing screams authenticity like a rocketmail account.

Well, needless to say, but we shall say it nonetheless, this is a fraud.

Once again, not only has our mystery correspondent failed to convince us to send him $58 in return for a fortune, he has failed to convince us that there is intelligent life on the internet.

Oh, well.

That is all.

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